A Mentor, Or A Friend?

The word “Mentor” originated from Homer's Odyssey. Odysseus, king of Ithaca, who fought in the Trojan War and shows care for his household, who also served as a teacher and watcher of Odysseus' son, Telemachus. Besides the lesson on Greek mythology, the word’s concept was later formulated as a trusted person, friend, teacher, advisor or whatever positive adjective you can comprehend to describe someone who you respect.

Sometimes that word can be thrown around way too much. We categorized those who shape our minds, and bring us enlightenment. Once those feelings come up, we label that person as a mentor. We idolize and worship them, and because of the characteristics and guidance that they show us, we then put them on a pedestal. There can be times where we challenge their ways, but we still respect them and have faith in them. But once they hurt us, things change. It hurts when we lose trust and the perception of them as a mentor. There becomes a big disconnect, and sense of lost in you. From there, you may need to look back on what you’ve learned from them, and ask yourself if they really taught you anything.

I have had many mentors throughout my life. And somehow they’ve all managed to disappoint me and hurt me. Each one was unique, but what I gained from them later was very little. I would defend them against others, and try to change the opinions of those who felt different about them. I later realized that some of my former mentors would use others in the hopes of them being praised. There was neither team effort nor affirmation given by them. They would proclaim team effort and affirmation in front of an audience, but we all know that some say anything to have others believe in them. That’s why I’m very cautious about throwing that word mentor around.

To me, a mentor is someone who is patient and kind. Now, I have been called a mentor and most of the time I am hesitant to describe myself as one. I do not know if I have given those individuals advice as to how they can be successful. I do not know if I have shaped the lives of others to be optimistic in their struggles. All I can be is a friend. A friend is someone who brings comfort to those in their time of need. I can also offer are my ears too. I will listen to anyone who needs to vent. If you want an opinion, I will give you my opinion and share what I feel is best for you. Rather you agree with it or not, is up to you.

In today’s society, teenagers need a mentor. Maybe they just need a friend too. We can combine the two titles together as one though. We all need a mentor/ friend who will be there for us in our time of need. Students today seem to be fading away from that human interaction with others. As educators, it is our job to promote interaction and hope that students will share themselves with other students and be confidants. If we focus on teaching them those characteristics, we will be teaching the youth to adapt to others and being individuals who care.

If you are labeled as a mentor or friend, please keep in mind that it is not just handed out overnight. That label is something that requires trust and acceptance, from another human being. It requires patience and care for those who need it. Will you disappoint those who think highly of you? Yes. Will you let them down? Probably. Will you show your appreciation for them? That part is up to you to decide on. Someone once told me the following, “Never change, because if you haven't realized it yet, you gravitate people towards you and bring a light not many people could even fathom producing.”

As a teacher, I can tell you that I do not see myself as mentor. I only see myself as a friend for the youth. And hope that I will be able to see my students achieve success in their future endeavors. When they do achieve that success, I hope to still be around to witness it with my own eyes. As a friend, I cannot categorize myself as a mentor either. I can only view myself a person who cares for others, and wants the best for those who are in my life. Is that a friend or mentor? Maybe I don’t know the difference, but I do know that everyone needs someone help guide him or her. What do you think the difference between a friends and a mentor is?



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