Struggles Brings Connection

People come in and out of our lives. That’s just they way it is. My grandfather use to say, “Three friends is too much. Two friends are possible. One friend is all you need.”

Over the past six or seven years of teaching, I’ve seen students come in and out of my classroom or stop by my office to let me know what’s new with them. I love the connection and interaction. What makes me feel good about my students stopping by, to me, is the relationship. That relationship is built by trust, guidance, and a little bit of accommodation. Nevertheless, a student comes by because of the “connection.”

One time, early on in my career, there was a student who came into my classroom. I was teaching a full load of classes back in those days (a full load is considered five classes). The student seemed to be aggravated. Of course, wanting to know what was up, I asked him if everything was okay. What seemed to be what I thought could have been minor, immediately captured my attention. It was not minor at all. The student was telling me that he felt out of place, and did not feel comfortable being around other students. As he continued with his explanation, he expressed that he was having family problems. After he had told me what was going on at home, I did everything I could to hold my emotions in, and not show any discomfort or anger.

You as the reader can come up with the scenario…

After talking with the student, I assured him that I would be there to help him in any way that would bring him peace. After he left my classroom, I immediately went to my administrator, and informed her of the situation. Needless to say, I was upset and emotional. A phone call was made, files were signed, and the student was out of the house for a period of time. Days felt like weeks, and weeks felt like months. All I could see in his eyes was sadness and pain. After the dust had settled, I was walking around the courtyard and saw the student. Small talk grew into a lengthy conversation. I don’t remember everything he said, except that he had mentioned that he felt better about opening up and talking about his struggles. He had also told me that he trusted a couple of his classmates, by opening up and letting them know what was going on with him. And now, five years later, him and those students who he confided in are still best friends.  I told the student that the struggles we go through, will ultimately define us and make us unique. We just need to know that our struggles are temporary.

That student is now in his second year at UC Santa Cruz studying psychology, with the hopes of becoming a licensed therapist in family counseling.


The struggles we go through are not easy. But if we accept them and know that there will be better days ahead, we will find peace in time. We just have to trust in ourselves, and learn to speak up. There’s always someone there to listen to you. We all listen because of a connection. We all listen because of a relationship.

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